Sometimes I do not recognize. I'm not that be. And which is one of the periods of transformation in which I no longer enough to be who I am. Recently I discovered that women are going transformed from a time of life to another, redefined with every role that I have to represent. As a tadpole loses its wings to become a frog, she also loses something of themselves during the process of becoming a lover, partner, wife ... mother. So far I am not clear how that works to transform. Many times I see women on the street and wonder as they were when they were twenty, and where those girls are gone.
Recently the issue of motherhood is attacking me from all sides. So tired ... I have the opportunity to observe as women are turning around. Gradually lost almost all the friends I had. It sounds hard but it's a bit like that. Have become mothers despite having / is certain that nothing will change ("If you talk about diapers, I stop ahead!") Conversations that we are not now before. I look like the friend who can talk about other issues, not just their children but as they do not go away. And I do not stop when I speak of "diapers" because it seems unfair. I hear them, but it's as if I spoke the other side of river.
a woman may now seem anti-child. But this is not. Children have always liked and it seems that I liked too. I love spending time with my nephews or other children, enjoy the possibility of fond of children who are not mine. I think being a mother hardly feel it. I do not think that becoming a mother the world ends. But as I see, is quite different. I never had doubts about whether being a mother, but I think I have fear of losing my fins.
So I find it hard to identify with the woman I am now. I feel trapped in time, a tadpole from the water pretending to keep swimming but dying with every breath. I feel that I can not continue. Need to get a new being, one who can breathe the air without choking. I do not know how to ...
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